The Sexy Banana
by sadlovedvampyegirl
Summary: This is complete randomness that I thought up off of the top of my head, andhas nothing to do with anything.


The Sexy Banana

The Sexy Banana

There was a time, very long ago, that an island existed where things that we now consider food ruled.

This was a time before fruits and vegetables became afraid of man, and stopped talking, walking, dancing, and being awesome. This was a peaceful time, where fruits and vegetables got along, and lived together in harmony.

That is, until the Sexy Banana was grown. I say that it is a sexy banana, not because I think it is sexy, but because everyone thought it was sexy. In fact, it was so sexy, that if it were still alive today, it's sexiness could cure cancer, solve world hunger, and bring about world peace.

But sadly, due to the evil tomatoes, the Sexy Banana is no longer alive. But I'm getting way ahead of myself. Let me start from the very beginning.

April Apricot stared out her front window in boredom. "I'm so bored," she said. "I wish something spectacular and awesome would happen." And though I would love to tell you that April Apricot got her wish, she did not. Sadly, she was later eaten by a pack of hungry wolves.

Wally Watermelon, the mayor of the island, decided that it was time for a change. I mean, come on. After living several decades in perfect peacefulness, things get kind of boring, and you just kind of NEED change.

And so, he ordered that a banana tree be planted, because he could not remember the reason that they had been banned from the island in the first place. Thus, a bunch of bananas were grown. It was a very sad sight to behold, though, because the bananas were all green, and ugly to start out with, and then they skipped they're yellowing process and went straight to a hideous brown color.

All of them, except for one. And this one, did not start out green. It did not turn brown, and it was not ugly. This was a Sexy Banana, and it was the sexiest banana that any of the fruits and vegetables had ever seen in all of time.

It was so sexy, that everyone thought they were dreaming at first. But then it started to sing. And right away, everyone knew that they were, in fact, not dreaming. They knew, that the sexy banana was real, and it was the best thing that ever happened to them.

Take Pearl Peach, for example. She was a very sad, and a very blind peach. But when the Sexy Banana sang, her sight immediately came back to her. Too bad she fell into the ocean later, and was attacked by Orchea whales.

Anyhow, Wally Watermelon was so proud that his order had brought about such an amazing creation, that he ordered more banana trees be planted. Yet, no matter how many banana trees they planted, the fruits could not grow another sexy banana.

And the more that the Sexy Banana was sexy, the more the other fruits were jealous. Even the vegetables started to get a little envious at the banana. And everywhere there was something sad, boring, or painful, the Sexy Banana was there, making everything fun, playful, and happy.

The other bananas were too sad for the Sexy Banana to cheer them up though, for every time the Sexy Banana would come to cheer them up with his songs, they would remember how sad and lonely and extremely ugly they were.

Then Barry Banana came up with a horrible plan to kill the Sexy Banana. However, the other Bananas were so appalled with this plan, that they peeled Barry Banana and fed him to an Orangutan. No one else in the bunch ever dared to think bad thoughts toward the Sexy Banana ever again.

But that doesn't mean that no one else never thought bad thoughts toward the Sexy Banana. The vegetables were so jealous of the fruits for creating something so great, that they all decided to rebel, and wanted a vegetable to be mayor, instead of Wally Watermelon. And the fruits started to rebel, because they didn't like this idea and wanted Wally Watermelon to stay the mayor.

So the tomatoes and the blueberries started to fight each other. Don't ever come to me and ask why it was only these two groups who fought, because I'll tell you that I do not know. I'm just the writer, not the maker of history.

Anyhow, they fought, and the Sexy Banana kept being sexy. Karen Kiwi decided that she wanted to be the Sexy Bananas best friend. So she came up to him one day and tried to talk to him, but the stress was too much, and she exploded from awesomeness. The Sexy Banana was horrified, and dug Karen Kiwi's grave himself.

However, life went on, and the Sexy Banana was still as sexy as ever. Moreover, this would, sadly, have to be the end of chapter one of the short story about the sexiest banana that ever existed in all of time.


End file.
